My Future Life will be an Egyptian Princess

Here we are then.
My past life didn't last long, I was a slug. Great great great (etc etc etc) uncle Wormold had his picture taken. He said I looked just like him! I came to an untimely end when a big dark shape loomed over me and later, I found my remains splattered over someone's new car. I may have also been a tree but can't remember much about that apart from feeling sharp pains near the soil when later, I found myself in someone's dining room being eaten off of.
I suppose I may pass as human now.
This is totally unfair. I want to be an Eyptian Princess like everyone else.
I reckon that if we have past lives, there must also be ones in the future. Time is only an illusion, so maybe I am all these things now.
More on this in the future....